We’re living in some dark times here in America. Black folks can’t even mow a lawn or swim in a pool without white people trying to have them thrown in jail. The current vitriol and hate that permeates our politics have us looking sideways at folks. I totally get it. My husband is pretty convinced that if I were single now I probably wouldn’t date a white person and to be fair, I don’t know if I could date a white person in the age of Trump. We have to look at this rationally though.
We have to remember:
There are a few ways to navigate interracial relationships and thrive in the relationship and dating world.
Determine what you want in a relationship.
You might be wanting nothing serious so that you are ok with dating a white guy without vetting him because you know good and well you don’t want a relationship with anyone. He just might be cute. That’s ok. If you are looking for something more serious, you might want to have some questions you need to ask to see if this would work out for you. The last thing you need is to deal with a man who is going to be ok with your future children being called racial slurs under the guise of building character. Or not seeing the big deal with they are discriminated against.
Draw your line in the sand for what you are comfortable with dealing with.
For some reason in my pre-married life, I was a magnet for white republican men in khakis. That was practically all that approached me. However, that was my line in the sand, even in the 1990s. No republicans. If they had an affinity for listening to Rush Limbaugh or thought InfoWars was a great source of unbiased information, I would run. Same for if they enjoyed such things as Fox News and only Fox News. Listen I don’t want to have to deal with listening to that nonsense, much less hear it parroted in my personal spaces. It isn’t a matter of a difference of opinion to me, it’s a matter of my humanity and dignity. I do not have time to spend my days in bed discussing why the false concept of black on black crime is not justification for cops getting away with the murder of black people or explaining that white nationalism is bad for America. I’ve got better things to do with my time.
Be upfront with what you want.
If you don’t feel comfortable at this time dating white men, it’s understandable and that’s ok. If you want to continue to date black men exclusively, do so. No one will guilt you for this. Don’t have folks guilting you for not wanting to date Richard Spencer’s Doppelganger.
In the same vein, ask those tough questions. What are your potential partner’s views on Black Lives Matter, immigration, on pay and housing inequality. Ask these things early to get things out of the way so that you can rest easy no major bumps in the road will happen later on.
Realize interracial dating and relationships do not have to involve white people.
White people can still be completely off the table if you just have trust issues. That’s ok. I get it, you see that red hat and you want to run. You see the red hat has quiet ass friends and family that don’t check him on his racist nonsense. You don’t have to deal with that. There are Asian men, Hispanic men, middle eastern men, and all kinds of races of men that exist in this world. Some of them are interested in dating black women. Focus on them if you want to expand your dating pool.